最近的心情

动不动就哭…

眼泪太不争气了

原来压力是这么大

我太担心他，担心我们的未来

可是我再也不会像他提起了

我答应我不会提起…

把它收起来吧

我相信我能靠我自己

不需要他的成功

希望慢慢的…

这种感觉会淡掉～

也许变成一种习惯

我也害怕…对他会慢慢的累积…

结果会失望

我以为之前吵的架会让他好点

也许他有自己的想法自己的选择吧

我只能控制自己

让自己多努力点

不需要靠他

一切…

顺其自然…

2nd of December

Its gonna be 2nd of December in 3 days.

Mixed up feelings in me..

Its a new surrounding but then I'm alone.

Im not alone but im literally alone if you get what I mean.

21st birthday being in a foreign country without foreign people who are not close to me feels horrible.

I told myself not to expect and I'm not expecting anything special to happen.

But then I just don't wanna spend this day alone.

Why does it have to be this year?

All I want is for him to be by my side on my birthday thats it. I don't want any parties or ballons or presents whatever.

I just wanna go home for that one day which is impossible.

People here is just not for me to be close with. Its not my place here to make a close contact which I cant possibily see them again in the future.

Just normal friends I said to myself, no besties. 

Its just 10 months everyone said. 

Everyday is just hard for me...24 hours is just too much, add on the time difference.

I can't forget the best birthday of my life last year. 

I got a surprise cake from him, a present and a sleepover night with him and friends around to celebrate which completes my day perfectly. 

This year will be the most horrible one I presume. 

Just skip that one day off shall we?

Please? 

难过…

这两个月以来我都没那么的难过

他说我为什么那么过度想他

我想他是错的吗？

我没有怪他没在我身边

我没有怪他不陪我

是我来这里的错…

我只想要时时刻刻想他

知道我有个疼我爱我在等我的人…

我不要他讨厌我

我不要他觉得拖累我

我能怎样…

Second month in the UK

Its gonna be the third month soon that Im here in the UK.

Time does not pass by fast at all! 

I miss my hubby ❤️ missed his hugs and kisses >< 

I've been on the phone with him every single day and I'm proud to say that we're as fine as we used to be. 

This LDR will work...I'm confident about it.

He really loves me a lot and he is willing to wait for me.

Enough of my love story.

I've been to the Birmingham German Christmas Market just now and its really like the pasar malam we got in Malaysia. 

The decorations are really pretty and I manage to get a cute present for my hubby hehe.

The whole street was soooo packed that makes it really hard to walk. 

this is the crepe I ate. Its nutella with eggnog. Its really nice 😍 its 4£

I was thinking how nice it is if we celebrate christmas every year. The decos are really pretty! 

The picture above its actually a bar. I thought it was a carousel from far~ the queue reminds me of roller coaster queue haha!

I had this hotdog as well and it taste so good with the fried shallots~ Don't judge me haha. I actually added mustard, mayonaise, BBQ sauce and chilli sauce. I have a super 'heavy taste' tongue. 😁 this is 3£

The real carousel. It reminds me of when I was young, this was my favourite part of a fun fair. Daddy would always ride this together with me. 

I found this stall where they actually used real chocolate to make these stuffs. There are nails and bolts, cars...etc and its really expansive. I wouldn't eat that 😂

Pretty street lights. 

All I wana wish for is for him to be here with me~ experience these stuffs together with me❤️

I hope there'll be a chance for this. 

6th oct

Its been a cold day today and unfortunately I've catched a cold. Feeling not really well the whole day.

Its too bad that I can't go to the club tonight.

Anyway at this terrible time I missed him so much.

How I wished for him to take care of me when I'm at my lowest.

I felt really lonely today~ people that I do not know and don't really wanna talk to

Arion seemed like someone from a different world than I am and I know sooner or later we might diverge to another path for each of us. 

So I guess I gotta be super independant. 

All I want to do now is to stay in my room for the whole year and hope it passes fast. 

Basically so far we're the only asians in the whole school and of course particularly my course. 

Technology is certainly not for girls but I just loved it.

I've started to actually think that being here in the UK is not a right choice.

Do I actually need this I wonder?

Please

Please god..

Make this year really really fast.

I missed everything back there

I missed his hugs and kisses ❤️

Goodnight

First day

First day without you...

First day without you calling me up~

I miss you already.

我忍不住不哭我知道我答应你可是真的好难

老公我爱你…

我在这里很安全很舒服～

I'm currently in the hotel because of the stupid delayed flight that I cant enter the campus because its too late.

A little room but then its more than enough for a night. 

Tomorrow will be another rough day.

Hubby~

I love you I really do

Wait for me ❤️

In the UK

I've been in the UK for 4 days now and I still couldn't really believe it.

I'm miles away without him..

I missed him every second, wishing he was here with me at this gorgeous place with awesome weather.

He will hold my hands when I'm cold and give me a hug whenever I wanted it.

I missed his arms, I missed his chest.

The safetiness that I was given...

I somehow feel sad and frustrated when I worried him. 

He was worried about me and I cant do anything to make him feel better. 

Blame on the stupid phone line.

Today I was on the subway which actually was delayed with no reason.

Me and the gang was worried that we couldn't make it on time. 

Thank god we managed it.

My poor baby boy was worried about me that he woke up so early in the morning 😢

I'm really worried that might affect his health ><

Its all my fault. 

I'm afraid that one day he might give up and that all for me...

Breaking inside. 

Fingers crossed that wouldn't come. 

I love him

Pics from London to you ❤️