Thursday..again

             So my days went on kinda smooth..
         Nothing much has happened.
            My emotion has recovered.
        
          Business is getting much better.
             Thanks to all that support us =)
           A lot of unknown customers emailed me~
       Its good this way.It means that it works..
          
           For those who care..
          I have three jobs currently..
        Working as an admin in an instrument shop, Teaching piano and keyboard (to be ) and online selling bags~
        Lol..people has been asking me....
     "Do you really need money that much?"
        Seriously.....yes.
           I am aiming to get an iphone 5 this year end.
                I really have to be hardworking for my 'baby'.
        I really want it ♥♥

       Oh yea..May's 'bro' is really a nice company to me these days..
           He is an italian mix british..(cool huh)
        Whats even cool is he knows a bit of chinese...
              I was really shocked when he speak chinese~
             He studied psychology in high school and by 18..
         Wooh..he already graduated from University~crazy right..
        Sigh.This wouldn't happen in Malaysia~
           He is real nice..as May said..
             Speaking of it..sometimes I really like being friends with eastern people..
        Their way of thinking is different but I liked it..
         Compared to Asian..They are really matured (not that I'm racist)
      
                 I really looked forward to study in London~
        Gannbate!
                 
             

Unknown feelings

                  Hurts..

               No words could describe..

          Its just came within me..

                 Is it a burden?
            Or is it just a sophisticated emotion?

              Whatever it is...

                I hate it~

            Its been rounding me..

                    I wanted to convey..

            But not a soul is existing at that moment..

          Feeling lost within~
              Ice cold soul....

涙は滴りました....ゆっくり

          

I feel..

                  I feel....                                   Unappreciated.
             Its like all these years have been a rubbish..
    
                 I feel...                                     Disappointed.
             Its like thousand of knife stabs my heart..

                I feel...                                      Down..
             Its like realizing that..I am nothing

               I feel...                                      



                                                                          Empty~

A wild Saturday

           Saturday!!My favorite day of all...
              Hmm..woke up at 10am..
        Woke up and on my phone..
          Woah~3 missed calls..
            I checked...
         Lol..it was Summer.called me 3 times when I was sleeping..
             I called him back..
          He wanted to ask me out for lunch..
       10am..=.=
            I asked him if dinner is ok but he seems to have a project in KLCC..
           So I went out with him for lunch instead..
         He came and fetch me at about 12.30pm..
         He looks kinda tired compared to before..
           We went to Metro Point..Walked around before eating..
     Went to the CD shop and hunt for some nice animes XD
             I didn't expect he would watch..lol

        Then we saw the car exhibition thingy in the centre of the ground floor..
        Suzuki Alto..duh~
         WTH? Why is it so ugly?
       Whereas Swift is so damn nice!
         Disappointed...
             Then we went to eat in Secret Recipe...
           Teased me at first..threatened to order almost everything in the menu because I am suppose to treat him..
       Duh..scared me XD
          At last..what he wants its just A CAKE!?
          Lol...but kinda pity him also..
        These days really work whole night through..
     Asked him is it enough for him lunch he said yes.
          Hmm...whatever~
          He then sent me home~
      
         Night..after dinner..
     Went out with my old secondary friends..
      We went to Paparich..
           Chat the whole night until 10.30pm..
   Woah.my day is kinda crazy today XD
      
           I kinda love this kind of life..
     Oh yea..my mom started nagging again..
  Duh..fed up!!
           >_<
            Sometimes its really fucking annoying!
        Right just then..my friend was telling me her life in school dorm.
      She said it was lonely and torturing..
           Duh..how I wish I was out.. seriously.
        I felt lonely when I am AT HOME!
          I've got tons of plans..tons of places I can go..
         The only problem every single time is.....PARENTS!
        Duh!
         Come on..their limit is too too low..
         Frustrating..
           They really expect me to always stay at home..
           Do nothing..not socializing..
         Zzzzzz....
                 Damn..thats not so me okay!
            Thank god there is Summer right here.
          Sis and bro are all not here!
           Duh...bored!!
                I FREAKING WANA GO OUT!
       >_<
              Poor me~
            Forget it..all I have to do is wait!
            Wait for my time to come XD

The strength

             Relation is always the weakness in everyone.

              Once it is threatened.

           One loses its ability to think..

            Although it is so..

           This weakness could evolve to become strength..
 
            Strength within the heart.

          Because of that hole that appears in one's heart,

        One will strive hard to recover...

               It will then become...

           The strongest part man survived.

                   Strive for your beloved..
           Do not let go~

       *Inspiration from 07-ghost.*

New creation~

                    A photo with sis~
                Edited by me =)

Empty

              Sometimes I really feel that I'm empty..

         I'm afraid to be alone..

            Everyone is not here now..

           I have no where to go~

          Everyone is busy...

            I want to keep myself busy too..

          Or else I'll start squeezing my mind again >_<
            
             This emptiness...
         Will always be there...till when?

Sunday aka holiday! double pissed off!!

               So..I started my job this morning~
           Woke up at 8am and start preparing..
              Then went for work..
               There is nothing much for me to do actually
               Whole morning online XD
        
              Then my working time ends at 1pm~
             Dad fetch me home and Summer is already at my house lobby~
           Sorry to have him to wait..
           My cousin came along with us and that makes us 3..
            3 of us went to Mines for movies..the last Harry Porter!
           I didn't really get to eat lunch..
          So I ate popcorn~
          I bought hotdog for daddy ask he wanted~
            This I payed for him as he payed for the ticket.
          The movie was awesome..
           To me is the best of all the previous once..
          Great ending..kinda stupid too~ Summer kept laughing..
      
           Then I went up to Splash Park to meet dear Cheryi~
        As usual..there because of her idol..=.=
         3 of us went speechless looking at the queue..
           Then we went for snacks at Sakae Sushi~
         Initially Summer said its on my treat..but at last~he payed almost half..
           This daddy..always talk about money..but end up paying for me..
       My cousin's ticket money..I told him to pay to Summer..
          But when I'm not looking..he told my cousin to give me the money~thx yea daddy..
         Next time belanja you XD

           Then he sent me and m cousin home..
         Ate durians again..lol
               Then we(me n family) head off to Yingfen's house to get the bags that has arrived..
          We were actually on the way to send my cousin back to his college~
          I already started to feel tired >_< cons are a bit dry~(whole day wearing it already)
           Then after dropping my cousin..we went to my grands house~
         I don't hell know why..my parents started lecturing about the way I talk
       Geesh...did they take the wrong medicine?!
            Fine..maybe I was wrong..okay~I try to control the way I talk (damn uncomfortable >.<)
      
         Then I already talk very soft..and yet..
             FUCK!COMPLAIN AGAIN!
          Even my sister feels weird..what the heck?!
          Then we stayed at my grands house like about  until 8pm..
        On the way home..Me and my sis was checking and counting the bags..
             I don't freaking know why again..my mum start mumbling again~
      This is roughly the conversation,
MOM: Don't do in the dark la..
ME : *ignore and continue counting*
ME:  Aiyo..kurang 2!
MOM: I knew it..just now I see you taking it from Yingfen's house and didn't count.
DAD:  Yala..you should check and tick when you take just now mah! Why you do things planning so terrible wan!
MOM: Yala...told her already..the way she do things are
ME: *pissing off but still ignoring* Sis..help me count again and see..
MOM: How?ok or not?
ME: Wait..counting~
DAD: Next time take you should check first!You cannot be so irresponsible!
ME: (In heart) What the heck?!I'm not the one who take it from the supplier..I trusted my partner! Its no big deal what!! She said it was okay!damn!Why don't you all said it just now at her house..you all were IN THE FREAKING HOUSE TOO!!

   Forget that..during our dinner at Puchong..
       Mom started again, "Jie..don't talk that way ar..very rude..you are a musician~"
     Sis looked at me~obviously saying "again..=.="
       I kept it in my heart...trying to stand this..
        She is so being ridiculous today..what the heck happen?!
       So I tried to talk as less as possible since then.

          Back in the car way back home..I called my partner and double check..
       Again the stupid lecture..not lecture..more of blamming~
        I am almost off my limit!My sis hold me back..or else the bomb is so gonna burst!!
          What the fuck?!!
          I hell know how to handle my things okay!I know they are trying to help but damn!
      Do I look that STUPID?!
          Do you think this problem is hell gonna pull me down?!
       Sometimes their thinking are really old-fashioned..online business delaying is very very common!!
     The more I think the more angry I am..what the heck happen?!!!
          Gosh~chillax!!

        Others may not understand but there are still some details that I cant really post..
       Darn...feel like burning the wall!

Concert day!!

              Concert day!
                Woke up at 10am today~
              Ate my breakfast and then went to send my sis to school...
                On the way..I went to my working place to get the key =)
               Another different job for sem holiday..not bad huh.
  
                So I make up for half an hour..due to the rushness to fetch my sis..
               Then waited for Elaine to send me to school~
               It was freaking jam due to the stupid football thingy in Stadium Bukit Jalil..
              Elaine was scolding all away..damn funny XD
             Then I suddenly received a call from Summer~
              Woah...really shocked me!
          Its been a long time since I saw my 'daddy'~
                Really missed him!
            He was already in Yamaha..lol~
            Then we reached at about 3pm..Elaine sticked the fake eyelash for me in the car XD

            Went down from the car and walk into school~
           Then saw Summer upstairs..really nostalgic..
             Missed the old days when he is still studying~
         Poor daddy..worried about work all the time..stress him out >_<
          Then I went to change in d studio~
                
             After that I sit in the hallway with Summer and chat..
         Still the old Summer.thank god he didn't change =)
           He then helped me with my hair~how good
           My hair really look better after that~pro man
         The finally..concert starts~
              I'm lazy to post the pics.wana see?
             Check out my facebook~
          

The past

            I was once someone unimportant..

               Invisible in others eyes..

         Someone very imperfect~

              I used to hate myself for who I am.. (stupid huh)

              Hate myself for being so timid~

             In-confident is what I possessed the most..

            Afraid about everything..

           Then you appeared..    You wouldn't know this but you make me feel confident~

               Make me realize that...

                There are some things about me that I didn't know~ good things..

           I never told you that..
                  as we never looked back~

                Sorry to myself~for being so stupid..
          Being so immature~
                        
              Thanks to you...
                          That I could achieve what I had today..

A day before concert

                  It was raining again this morning~
                The morning was cold..
                 Loved it..
                Elaine gave me a ride to school today..
              
              Full dress rehearsal today..
              My dressing was kinda weird..
             Maybe its because I'm not use to it..
           Perhaps~

                The rehearsal was not long~
              Manage to go home by 2pm..
          
         It seems that Manhey and Neo went to Times Square~
             Im alone at home..sigh~

            I hate to say this..but that feeling came back again~
          It has been a long time since I felt that..
             Its really annoying me >_<
           I don't really feel well..
              I mean mentally..
              Shit..it should not be this way
             I think it starts since I heard that song yesterday~
           I feel sorry for myself~

             If any friends saw this..don't worry..I'll be okay =)

Concert preparation

                So..these days~
              Deco deco and deco..
                 All we did in school is NOTHING..
                What the..Julie acted like she is the big bos..
              All she did is just command command and command..
           Order here order there..
                For herself..sitting on the sofa and talk in the phone for half an hour..
           Then went chatting with the administrator..=.=
                WTF?!

           What I hate is the way she uses out results to force us to attend~
           What the heck?!
          We payed for our course and exams okay..
            In fact,why is it only we students have to decorate the place while no other workers are helping?!
         darn~

           Anyway..
           Everyone is really putting effort in this concert..
             So hope it goes well =)

       Some crazy pictures~behind the scene XD

Kononnya..statue of YAMAHA XD

the painting gang

'angel' statue of YAMAHA XD

Nice angle XDD

speechless..O.O

faster faster..scissors nearer!

Caryn's glittered hands

TANGO~

I like this!! look alike with the chick XD

After exam

Finally H&A is done...
   The question was kinda tough~(as I sucks in it)
     I opened the paper..
         Oh mi gosh~what the heck should I write first?!
        Darn...Im really weak in this~
           This seriously makes me giddy and sleepy..
         I was rushing all the way...
              If it was the usual me..HELL i would finish within 2 hours!!
          I would drag drag and drag XDD
                 Frankly~24 hours is not enough (ashamed)
          
  So then after the exam~
      Went to Sunway Piramid with Manhey and Neo...(as usual)
      Poor Xinwei has to go home due to her 'kinda-troublesome' mother (sry but its the truth)
        Manhey drove us there..
      I have no idea why the parking lot is DAMN FULL!
      Its Monday okay..but it looks like its Sunday
        We round and round in the parking lot for about 30 mins.>_<
       Finally..from the top to the bottom~found a parking lot in the basement =.=
      What the...
             Next was the 'white-clothes-hunt' game~
             Searching white clothes for Mr.Neo for concert..
          Stupid vocal teacher A.K.A 'syok sendiri' as our fashion adviser
            All that we found is not suitable..size not right (he is too freaking thin!!)
           Round and round and round~
          Nothing =.=

         Food!!
          Went to Asian Avenue for lunch..
        Sad..>_<~  I have to treat Neo for his lunch..stupid bet!
           Who knows he is damn good in gaming~stupid me..LOL
         After lunch..My dad went to fetch me home~
            Byee guys =)
           Oh yea~I finally get my 2nd fake eyelashes..now I have to try 2 stick on @_@

          Thats all for today~ciao =)

Choices?damn

Tell me what should I do?

Leave or stay?

My heart could not decide..

As I am afraid to choose..

I had a choice..

But it doesn't seems like its for me..

I know this may look awful..

I know this may end up badly..

God..

What the heck?!

Walk away

                
                 I wouldn't end up in this mess
                  Thinking of what I had before
                  Until the time comes
                     Maybe we will know what's all these for
      
                 Let it go..
               Whats in your hand before
                  Let it go..
                What you've taken so far
              It meant nothing when you need it most..

              Could I just turn around and walk away?
              Could I just ignore what you've done?
              Could I just look out to the horizon..
              And forget what has been..
                         Important to me..

             And walk away~

Me..thinking~

                    The night is dark..

                Staring out of the balcony..

                Cold breeze touches my cheeks..

              Stars are not seen..as the lights are too bright..

                     Its too quiet..

               I couldn't really get use to it~

               Its makes me feel....                                          Lonely~

                 Sometimes I do like it..


                It makes me think.

                     The more I think..the more I feel tiny~

                I still couldn't find the confident..
                       Its still hiding somewhere..

              My dreams..will it come true?


                 Will I have what I wanted? I do hope so~
神...私を助けてください...

          

Byee history~

             So..History exam is over today..
               Recital on Monday..
               I look damn stupid..no one tells me that I should wear formal for it >_<
             I went with Jeans and t-shirt..wth?!
                  Lol..thank god the examiners are okay..
             Anyway its just the 1st time XD
                     Performance..hmm..consider okay~
              My prelude and fugue were like shit!
         Notes were everywhere..geesh..
               Poulenc was okay..kinda perfect actually..
             Thank god I didn't screw up the 2nd movement..
             Xinwei said it was good.hmm~trust u  XD
                 Chopin was my favourite..
             I din expect I could memorize the whole piece..FLAWLESSLY!
                    Damn that when I was at the climax...they asked me to stop..=.=
            I was so in the mood..sigh~

               Tuesday..musicianship skill..
           The others were okay expect sight reading..
                OMG..that piece was SHIT!
              Freaking three-flat..stupid chromatics >_<
             I played and it sounded like a frog XDD
                  sighs~
             Next the aural part.
          I'm actually kinda disappointed with my hearing this time..
                   I really couldn't get it until it reaches the last time playing..wth
             It should not be that way~
            Years of training and I couldn't get jz a 30 second piece..darn.

              Finally..history on Thursday~
              It was actually kinda easy.
                Exactly from the notes that E-Jan gave..
            Thank god =)

             Three down..one more day to go
            We are so gonna fail for the last paper
                Thanks to Jessica..wt~
           Anyway....all the best buds!
              
              
                  

Updates

            Its Sunday again..
         Exam is tomorrow..and yet~Im freaking free XD
                Going out later for Electone Competition..
             Seniors are in for the competing..
            Hope the best for all of them..
                They are real talented..
                Especially the group performance~awesome!

                My mood is getting better and better..
            I still wonder what the hell is going on with me that day..
                The feeling come out of a sudden.
             Ripped my heart and mood away~
            Left my emo thoughts behind..
                Hmm~
                    I hate that feeling..
                Chat with sis yesterday while ironing the clothes ~
                 But the damn line is so pissing me off!
               Stupid line!!
                  We were at the peak of the conversation then..
                   Boom...suddenly went off!
                I was like "what the fxxk!!"
            Damn it..then when I called back~none of us could remember what were we talking about =.=
          Forget it~

              Gotta head off for EF..CIAO~
                

WTH?!

I have no idea what the heck is going on with me today..
I don;t really have the mood to do things..
Kept feeling moody..
What is going on?!
hate this feeling~darn..
Its like..frustrating kind of feeling..>_<
I don't really feel good..
Who could I refer to now?
Hmm...

Everything I do I don't feel like stopping..
Washing clothes in the washing machine..
Its all done but I kept feeling like there are still something to do..
Move to studying history..
No mood at all!
Cant really go inside my head.
Xinwei ffk..we are suppose to study 2gether through online..
darn~someone...help me