Mixed up feelings in me..
Its a new surrounding but then I'm alone.
Im not alone but im literally alone if you get what I mean.
21st birthday being in a foreign country without foreign people who are not close to me feels horrible.
I told myself not to expect and I'm not expecting anything special to happen.
But then I just don't wanna spend this day alone.
Why does it have to be this year?
All I want is for him to be by my side on my birthday thats it. I don't want any parties or ballons or presents whatever.
I just wanna go home for that one day which is impossible.
People here is just not for me to be close with. Its not my place here to make a close contact which I cant possibily see them again in the future.
Just normal friends I said to myself, no besties.
Its just 10 months everyone said.
Everyday is just hard for me...24 hours is just too much, add on the time difference.
I can't forget the best birthday of my life last year.
I got a surprise cake from him, a present and a sleepover night with him and friends around to celebrate which completes my day perfectly.
This year will be the most horrible one I presume.
Just skip that one day off shall we?
Please?
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